Step by Step with NKOTB
In the fifth grade, my friend Miranda was obsessed with New Kids on the Block and fully determined to marry Jordan Knight. She spent all our quiet creative writing time expanding her epic fan fiction fantasy about their life together while I worked on my magical mash up of C.S. Lewis and J.R. Tolkien. We competed to see who could write the most pages and made a show of marching past each other to the stack of fresh paper at the back of the classroom. We were friends because my Great Aunt Carol used to babysit Jordan’s father and somehow that connection gave wings to her dreams even though, by that point, my aunt was in her sixties and hadn’t seen or spoken to Mr. Knight in decades.
The New Kids knew a thing or two about goals. Sure, maybe their ultimate desire was to make tweens swoon (mission accomplished!), but what they actually did was plant a lesson in my brain that still echoes with those early 90s drum machine vibes. Step by step. Nothing is instantaneous. You have to work towards it. (Gonna get to ya girl, step by step.) Everything takes intention and action. Thanks boys!
The problem with ‘STEP BY STEP’ is that sometimes we can’t visualize what those steps are and we end up designing them to be so big our little legs can’t make the climb.
If you’re feeling stuck, look at how you’ve plotted your map: is each step forward within attainable reach, or are your ideas large and abstract?
As I worked through some roadblocks with a client I asked them why they hadn’t named their ultimate end goal. They said it was too far away. They said the size of it felt foolish and too far removed from where they are now.
“Isn’t that the point?” I asked.
I don’t care what your end goal is. If you want to shape your life so that you end up in Greece, living in a house on stilts with a talking parrot and a barista who also sings you lullabies then you have to make steps in that direction. You don’t have to buy a plot of land today but you do have to do something.
Doo-doo makes the woo-woo, remember?
Put that big goal on a piece of paper and start working backwards. Break your steps down to the minutia. Every step forward is momentum. Don’t forget that.
Going to the library and signing out a book about parrots is a valuable step.
Taking a mason jar and writing Greece on it and dumping spare change in it every day is a valuable step.
Taking yourself seriously about your honest goal is a valuable step.
Don’t be afraid of your BIG GOAL. You’re bigger than the small steps that will get you there. Step by step. That’s all it takes. Step by step.
Want to make like a New Kid and discover your next steps? If you need a little help along your way, consider joining my mentorship program where I can guide you through the process much like a NKOTB choreographer — but with fewer synthesizers, less moves that will make your muscles ache, and more gentle care.
